N And so do we golfers. We declare ourselves machines. Respectively, we are told which ones to be. The Golf magazinea specialist publication from Oberhaching, is leading the way: Now, where the places hibernateif mud and wind prevent the game, we would need the “pit stop for body & head”. Because: This time of year offers “ideal conditions for tackling physical construction sites, analyzing performance reserves and investing in your own playing ability in the long term”.
There are clinics with “high-end diagnostics” and “concrete options for action for training, everyday life and longevity”. So off we go to the medical pit stop. Have tires and oil changed, paint damage repaired. Bring on the TÜV plate for the new season. Not that we end up prematurely in a junkyard and hope for the heavenly worlds, where there may be no golf courses at all.
The terms fit football players, which have long since become automobilesas we tell reporters again and again. The kickers would have to “accelerate more” and “watch out for opponents in the rearview mirror,” then “finally release the handbrake,” then “shift up a gear.” In car speak, as if the active ones had a combustion engine inside. “Now he has to get on the fast track.” Anyone who is weak should “recharge their energy”. And then please “switch on the turbo”. Heard it all a thousand times. And we have already declared ourselves to be self-movers: “Where are you?” someone asks the driver in greeting. Answer: “I’m standing over there.”
So now golf. Just play, for fun and pleasure? No, that Golf magazine recommends “compact health checks, medical retreats and new findings from muscle, back and brain research”. So, full body inspection. What needs to be strengthened is the autonomic nervous system, “our body’s own accelerator pedal”. The inner automobile should be approached strategically like a business: “If you invest wisely now, you will start the new season more sustainably.”
More greenwashing is hardly possible
“Sustainable”, here even increased to more sustainable, is particularly important: sustainable is the magic word of our time that can be used to sell anything. Greenwashiger hardly works. In the past, cleaning agents were supposed to not only clean a product, but also wash it pure. Today, “sustainable” washes everything sustainably like nothing.
The Golfblatt praises individual private hospitals as pit stops as if they were advertisements. The Buff Medical Resort in Konstanz, an editorial tester notes, offers “time out in a new dimension,” such as “spiroergometry with VO₂max measurement – a gold standard in performance diagnostics that I previously only knew from professional sports.” Will the drive then come more precisely? More important: The muscle imbalance profile can “provide early indications of degenerative diseases such as dementia”.
Yes, it is well known that golfers develop dementia less often and later. Hurray! But we don’t know whether this is really due to golf itself or other factors such as social existence or diet. The Years Medical Center day clinic in Berlin, located on the Ku’damm, is also being advertised and is a start-up (also an important buzzword) that offers “in-depth check-ups”. The tester also noted that “all tests are consistently based on current scientific findings and studies,” and that everything is “state of the art.”
This is also to be expected given the costs of the pit stop. “The extensive Ultimate package” costs “around 16,000 euros”. Box office performance? Unfortunately not even for those with private insurance; It is said that parts can only be subsidized upon application. Sounds very tempting. I will still do without because I don’t have private health insurance, which could also reject a homeopathic portion. And Ku’damm is stupid too. Maybe the next put will go in straight away.