The Free Press has published numerous stories on the ordeals faced by the Israeli hostages seized by Hamas on October 7, 2023. But the words of Avinatan Or—published here in English for the first time—stand out.
Three years ago, Or was abducted from the Nova music festival by Hamas terrorists. He then spent more than two years as a hostage, most of it alone in a tunnel cell beneath Gaza. Last month, Avinatan published Through the Earth, a harrowing, Hebrew-language memoir about his experience, which has swiftly become a No. 1 bestseller in Israel. We are proud to exclusively share two parts of the book—one from 20 days into his captivity, and one from about five months later.
Avinatan’s attention to detail in captivity was extraordinary; his will to live, even more so. During his captivity, he literally dug himself out of his tunnel in a daring escape attempt, only to be caught, beaten, and tortured. Today, he describes the experiences that led him to try to escape—and the moment that made him realize he had the opportunity to try.
Or’s story, translated here from Hebrew, is essential reading as we mark the third anniversary of the October 7 attack. Read it to understand what Or went through and how, against all odds, he survived years of war and terror in the darkness beneath Gaza.
—The Editors
October 2023, 20 Days Into Captivity:
My only goal is survival. From now on, everything, and I mean everything, is a numbers game. And that means I start to collect every scrap of information that comes my way. I count the rungs of the ladder, count steps, catalog the sounds and key words I manage to catch, measure my paces, memorize turns, feel out the space around me. I know that we have climbed nine meters down the ladder into a tunnel with a low ceiling a little under six feet, one that won’t let me stand up straight for the next 24 months.
No cutting corners, no losing focus, no missed opportunities. I’m here, and I must be the master of my fate.
One day, Khaled-Hamdan, the Hamas commander in charge of the tunnel where I have been taken captive, comes into the room where we’re all sitting and tells me to follow him. We start climbing up out of the tunnel, and my heart and my head start working overtime. I have no idea where we’re going or what’s about to happen. As we come out of the tunnel I see that it’s nighttime, and the darkness of underground Gaza blends into the darkness of Gaza above. The tunnel opening lets us out into the storeroom of a house. The voices of women and children come from the second floor. I think about the monstrous use of a civilian population, and how low a man has to go to use his own children as human shields. The thought is cut short when they lead me into a side room with a tripod and a camera in the middle. The cameraman is standing next to them. It’s time to film my first video as a hostage.
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