S Greenland, the largest island in the world, which this poorly coiffed sociopath from Washington wants to take control of, has recently come into the spotlight. But it shouldn’t be about the island and the man now. The whole affair is simply too disgusting, too indecent, too mindless for me.
I only mention it to point out that you can occupy, take over and annex foreign national territories, and especially islands, in a much more humane, civilized way, in short: in a much more civilized way.
We, the Germans, have been proving how this works for decades with never-ending love and passion. Yes, I know, self-praise stinks, but the friendly and completely harmless takeover of the Mediterranean island of Mallorca, which actually belongs to the state of Spain, by German holiday ultras from the Red Sangria faction, which is completely harmless under international law, is absolutely exemplary, even in international comparison.
Mallorca has 950,000 Mallorcan, so to speak native, residents, but is occupied by around five million Germans every year, who not only do not find the presence of the indigenous population to be a nuisance, but actually appreciate it, especially in the service sector.
Seen in this way, it is only logical that the island has been considered the 17th federal state of the Federal Republic for decades, but for reasons of the typical German live-and-let-live nonchalance it is still officially tolerated as part of the territory of Spain.
Proverbial baller man
The close ties that Germans have with Mallorca are far from just proverbial. As we all know, dull shooting, banging and “all you can drink” tourism is not our thing. For us, respect and appreciation of the existing culture have been a self-evident condition of every careful occupation since time immemorial.
It is therefore a true and profound proof of love from the Germans when the successful Mallorca show “Malle olé” is now being performed continuously in the picturesque musical capital of Duisburg. A cultural power event that, in the middle of the show island of the Ruhr area, emotionally and poetically demonstrates the fusion, if not the fusion, of the cultured Germans theirs Island Malle fucks on stage.
In any case, the organizers’ announcement leaves no doubt: “Malle olé, the musical that shoots. With the greatest Ballermann hits of all time. ‘Finally not a virgin anymore’ and ‘I love you, much more than beer.’ Kind of like Mama Mia, only with better music.”
The story is told by the plumber Alex and the doctor’s assistant Laura, who both travel to Mallorca with their cliques and heartbreak, it is said.
So, dear Mallorca fans. Off to Malle. In the middle of Duisburg.