Content warning: This article discusses sexual violence.
“I can say with 100% confidence I was raped.”
The “Cornell Seven” case has brought out the worst in American society.
A young woman — named as Jane Doe — filed a lawsuit against Cornell University and seven Chi Pi fraternity members over an alleged gang rape in 2024. In her complaint, Doe claimed that the fraternity members — “the Cornell Seven” — drugged and raped her for several hours, among other horrors. She also claimed that Cornell University insufficiently sanctioned the alleged assailants (assigning a now-infamous essay-writing punishment). All accused have denied her allegations.
According to Jane Doe’s attorney, Thomas Guiffa, her life is “ruined.”
And yet, the public is treating Jane Doe’s trauma as both a “sex scandal” and a law school case study. Social media users jumped to liken the case to Duke University’s Lacrosse Hoax or the University of Virginia debacle. They’re already discounting Jane Doe because she may or may not have consented to a threesome before the alleged assaults occurred, because she reportedly consumed alcohol and drugs, or because she didn’t immediately follow every post-rape step outlined in Law and Order: SVU.
She’s not the perfect victim: making her prime for vicious, misogynistic wolves to rip her apart for the approval and entertainment of the patriarchy. But guess what? Rape culture ensures that there will never be a perfect victim, but there will always be victims. It’s a lose-lose situation for women. We either deny our own freedoms or have them denied for us.
A survivor could do everything “right” — fight back, scream No, get DNA under their fingernails, tell an outcry witness of their assault, rush first thing to the hospital without showering for a rape kit, even somehow capture the assault on camera — and the public at large would still find a way to blame her.
what was she wearing? / she shouldn’t have been drinking / but think about his future / it’s not that big of a deal / she’s lying about it for attention / this is just a cash grab / it’s not “rape” if… / she wanted it rough! / well, maybe they’re confused / they just had sex and regretted it
We don’t say any of this to men. From where we stand, most men are free to drink, dance, walk — in fact, some of their best stories are born from belligerence!
When women venture out for the night, we worry about someone spiking our drink (regardless of its content) the nanosecond we take our eyes off of it. We question a male friend’s motives when they offer to take us home. If we don’t wake up the next morning in our own bed, or our memory is fuzzy, the first thing we do is check that our underwear is still on.
When the masses slightly acquiesce due to new evidence supporting the victim, the narrative shifts. God forbid someone discusses Jane Doe right now without including disclaimers we’ve heard too many times: “ah, but under New York law, it wasn’t rape, soooo” or “well, she did agree to take drugs,” or “oh, the DA didn’t have all the details about all the accused, so what were they to do?”
Jane Doe is a human being. You think you’re qualified to classify what she contends was rape based on your understanding of a state’s legal statute? The public’s concerted focus on nitpicking the legality of the incident has eclipsed and deprioritized her humanity — which is not shocking in the least bit.
Our patriarchal society loves a media circus, a woman to pelt with stones, and an opportunity to reassert male dominance and superiority. We make women like Jane Doe suffer re-traumatization and pain as if it were standard procedure.
Then follows the “but the false allegations!” and other oft-repeated whataboutisms weaponized against women to steer the ship away from any accountability that could — gasp! — lead to reform. (Obligatory mention that around 2 – 10 percent of sexual assault reports are classified as “false,” which can include being scared into recanting.) Despite the leaked “Cornell Seven” group chat messages of frat brothers sending a photo of Jane Doe naked, without her consent, advertising “free pussy” and an open “shop” where they can “whip it out” — somehow, the accused or complicit men are victims?!
We can’t forget, of course, women who perpetuate this by writing asinine articles that include comments like, “Young women must take responsibility for their actions. Regretting one’s bad decisions is a far cry from rape.” (It’s worth noting that not only does that author contradict herself inside her own piece, but many of her defenses for all the poor men of the world have already flipped with new evidence.)
Did that author, or any of the meninists online, read the publicly available court documents? I did.
As a young woman, it’s hard — almost impossible — not to see oneself in Jane Doe.
I was in a female fraternity and witnessed the outlandish and reinforced behavior of some fraternity brothers. I heard men retell stories from the night before that portrayed their female sexual partners as nothing more than sex dolls. I witnessed a fraternity get suspended for credible rape and drugging allegations, only for those disgraced brothers to (allegedly) throw suspension parties and receive sympathy from other fraternities. And I watched as these men graduated and went on to medical school — to be the doctor in your operating room while you’re knocked unconscious from anesthesia; or law school — to be the lawyer prosecuting sex crimes, or (hypothetically) one day, to be a Supreme Court justice ruling on extreme cases.
But we’re the crazy ones.
I have not met many women unfamiliar with the choking panic of hearing footsteps following behind you too closely and for too long at night. The bewildered shock as you feel a wandering hand fumble the back pocket of your jeans as a man passes behind you at the bar. The deadly silence of your friends — slack-jawed in horror — that follows a retelling of a “crazy story” from years ago. The heartbreaking familiarity when you hold your friend in your arms as she tearfully realizes what happened to her.
We share our locations — not to be nosy, but to ensure our loved ones are alive. We “overshare” before a first date — not as prevention, but so that if we go missing or wake up somewhere without a clue how we got there, someone can come get us or point the police in the right direction.
This isn’t some game women invented to pass the time. Society made the expectations clear long ago: we are to live our lives in constant fear and be responsible for someone else’s actions.
So yes, we see ourselves in Jane Doe, we’re pissed, and we’re tired of all this. We were raised in the same environment as the women before us, now with a digital dimension. So spare us if we don’t coddle your feelings and forgo adding “#notallmen!” to the end of our posts. Because the truth is…it’s not about men’s feelings. It’s about our survival.
And, sorry, but it is #enoughmen for this to be an epidemic. Imagine if one of those Cornell men who received the message that night had stepped up after receiving the text in the group chat. What were they worried about? Not being cool? Getting kicked off the chat? Being labeled a hater for messing with their bros’ opportunity? I’ve seen far too much coverage that’s quick to mention the ten drinks Jane Doe had consumed, and far too little that mentions the more significant number: fifty-seven young men were informed in time to stop it, check on their classmate, or report it to the police.
It’s time for men to commit to full-fledged participation in the solution. Egos must be put aside, and the mature understanding that this is not about them must be encouraged and cultivated. The predatory behavior that precedes the conduct Jane Doe alleges — and if it really is #notallmen, then they have to prove it and make that a reality.
Doe told campus police, “I can say with 100% confidence I was raped.” The police did not include this line in the condensed statement shared with the DA. The case is being reopened and assigned to New York Attorney General Letitia James, inspiring the President of the United States to state openly that he “feels bad” for the accused Cornell students who “won’t get a fair shake” because of her involvement. Cornell found enough evidence of wrongdoing to ban the fraternity from campus, expel two of the fraternity members, suspend another two, and bar an alum from campus.
Does the anti-women crowd care? Of course not; there is a woman to burn on the stake and men to martyr.
In the land of the “free,” women are not and never have been.
