Dear Abigail,
When does one let politics dictate the end of a friendship?
A few months ago, one of my best girlfriends began posting things on social media related to Israel, Palestine, Erika Kirk, and much more. Much of this was content from figures such as Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens, among others. There have also been posts alluding to 9/11 being an inside job done by Bush and Israel.
I believe that people shouldn’t let politics end friendships, since, as we all know, it’s a far too common phenomenon happening in our country, especially in my age bracket. I have friends that I disagree with politically, and largely, we don’t talk about it. If we do, we walk away respecting one another nonetheless.
So I am deeply conflicted about the recent argument my friend and I had. I had started to notice that more of her posts were increasingly focused on Israel and anti-Zionism, which in itself are not things I would end a friendship over, even though I disagree with her opinions. But there was one post in particular that alarmed me. She is Greek Orthodox, and she shared a quote from a leader within the Orthodox Church: “As Orthodox we are anti-Zionists. That is, we are against international Zionism, which has transformed the religion of the Old Testament into Satan worship.” She and I talked at length about this; I shared my concerns and my position and she hers.
She assured me she holds no ill will towards the Jewish people, and she also expressed hurt that I could think she would harbor hateful beliefs. I explained that I do not think of her as a hateful person, but that I was struggling to understand why she would therefore share this post (and a few others she’d shared) that perpetuated antisemitic stereotypes. She told me the only reason I took that position is because my husband is Jewish.
Am I in the wrong? I’ve never been one to carelessly make accusations of bigotry. I’ve never been in such a serious and heated argument with a friend over politics before. I don’t think I misunderstood the post in the way she said I did. But what if I’m throwing away a friendship that was once a big part of my life? More generally, where does one draw the line at “agreeing to disagree”?
I need your brutal honesty.
With gratitude,
Leah, 27
Leah,
Two years ago, a wellness influencer popped up in my X feed, claiming to have “exposed” the Talmud. In photographs, she posed in spandex workout clothes; she didn’t strike me as the Talmudic type. I reached out to her, curious to hear more. To my surprise, she responded immediately, hoping I wanted to discuss her views on “the transgenders.”
As it happens, I know a little bit about the Talmud—far less than most yeshiva students, but more than your average wellness influencer. And no, the Talmud isn’t a “book” as this woman insisted to me when we spoke. Nor is it “a second Bible” to the Jews, informing Jews “how they’re supposed to treat us, and what they think of Jesus.” Nor is it a text that gives Jews license to engage in pedophilia, as she claimed.
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